A heart broken woman has cried out for help as she no longer as the energy and will to endure her husband’s behavior.
I have lost my mind. I think I am going to die or lose my mind. Our marriage is 16 years and yet i feel like a stranger in my own house. Any slightest issue or suspicion, my husband will ask me to go and pack my bags and leave. Leave my 5 children and leave his house all in a bid to show me that he was really angry. Make no mistakes about this, My husband is a good man but his jealousy turns him into a monster.
I have endured and endured. 3 year dating and 16 years of marriage yet my husband dosnt trust me. He dosnt want to see any man around me. He has disgraced me severally just because he doesn’t want any man even looking at me. To him, every other man out there wants to sleep with me.
Early last year, he started telling me stories of how Facebook and Whatsapp has broken many home. he finally told me to quit social media. I am a pharmacist and my job at the hospital and even in the church requires that i belong to some whatsapp groups and i tried to explain to him that social media is not all that bad but every other day, he humiliates me in front of my children and househelps calling me unprintable names.
He slaps me often whenever he flies into such rage. Last Sunday, he wanted to make love but i wasnt in the mood because my best friend and Godmother to my first son was hospitalized and doctors could not find out the reason for the pain in her stomach. I went to see her at the hospital and seeing her in so much pain broke my heart and the last thing on my mind then was s*x.
I told him, that i wasn’t in the mood and that was the beginning of this war. He flared up and stormed out of the room. I thought he will come back when he has calmed down so i waited and sleep off. I didn’t know he had other plans, He went into my phone while i was sleeping and started chatting up all the male contacts that i exchange pleasantries with. He pretended to be me and was probing the guys for clues. telling them that love word to see if they would give him clues i have a relationship. one of the contacts who i don’t even know personally feel for the prank and started getting emotional and romantic. That was all the proof he had and he woke me up with a slap. My ear is still bleeding even as at now.
This particular contact only but added me from the pharmacist of Nigeria association whatsapp group and all we have been doing is hello , hi, how was your day. Nothing else. My husband took my phone and was telling him how lonely i was was and how i couldnt sleep just to see if the guy will say anything incriminating. Men being what they are, the guy thought that i was really at the other end giving him a bait so he started telling me he loves me and how he has always wanted to have me by his side.
That was all my oga needed. he slapped me out of my sleep and hell was let lose. he smashed my phone on the wall. Just because i wasnt in the mood for sex. he started asking me who is david and why i was having an affair with him. it wasnt until he started slapping me continuously and shouting. that he has caught my whatsapp boyfriend that satisfies me and then i began to get a clue about what was happening. he slapped me 4 good times before i lost count.
our kids woke up and he warned them never to leave their rooms why he abused me.
My last baby was crying. when he calmed down a little, i had to pack my bags that same night after he kept telling me that it is over that i should pack my bags and leave his house first thing Monday morning. he said it over and over. he called my mum and my sisters and told them that he caught me red handed on facebook and whatsapp. that he has proof that i was cheating on whatsapp. that was when i even understood fully what was happening. my mum came on Monday morning. he brought out my phone and was telling my mum that the shattered phone was his evidence that he will repair the phone and she will see for her self. I was so broken, i couldnt talk, i was crying through out the night up-till that morning.
I kept asking him how i was cheating with my phone when I dont even have a password and everybody has access to the same phone. i was tempted to stab myself and end it all but the cries of my kids held me back. he kept ranting and threatening to murder me. he claimed that it was my cheating that was giving him bad luck. that he makes money but he dosnt know what happens to the money coming in from his laboratory. he concluded that it was because i was sleeping with another man and getting satisfaction, thats why i deny him sex. my mum even started blaming me. telling me that since my husband has warned me to stay off whatsapp that i have no business being in social media and that I had no right to deny my husband sex even though i told her my state of mind at that time. she was begging him not to throw me out.
I couldnt talk or cry anymore. i was just there looking into thin space. I have been traumatized in the name of marriage. i am a broken woman. 16 years of marriage, no trust and i have never cheated or even thought of cheating on this man.I regret being a woman. This is what i have to go through because i am a female living in a world where men are free to do as they like. if only i were a man, society would never abuse me this way. I have decided to accept my fate in good faith. this is my story. this is my song. please pray for me