Hello my ogbonge Lailans, it’s me your one and only class captain again, hope una dey enjoy the holiday, Please standing ovation for Nigeria abeg, Happy Independence Day to you all, #Mickeal Bryant pls can you concentrate and stop looking at Lisa, your matter tire me abeg. May God help you from chatimony to matrimony * in Estee voice.

I want to announce our latest couple #shinesteeth, #rings the bell, let’s congratulate them please, they said they would share kunu and puff puff for us, * please add zobo and dun dun. Thanks anywaz *in falz voice


  • *Bamidele and feliquincy: dis wan na our latest hot love, Feli Don clear d air say na Ekun(lion) she want, not Fine boy no pimples (unc babs). *side eyes @ ife leke
  • *Derrick Don dey call abeg Mimi love, stop forming number busy, please pick the call, Badth geh!
  • *Theodore Samouris is hustling badly for babe, sorry theo, Pamela can’t be for you, try Chy Faith again, waka go front,*yimu
  • *Oluwafunmilayo Boobslicious is hustling for man, soteee she put link for picture and contact, choi hustle is real abeg. God go pick ya call.
  • *Zombie huntress don use body, eye, everytin pass message to you abeg Kclub please look her side na. Issokay
  • *Anonymous aka Untamed leave class captain alone, she needs to concentrate on d affairs of d fellowship, no time for love beg, Johnny don claim space.

Please we need more fellowship couples. Stop hiding your boo and sugar, be proud of them.

Please let’s also welcome our new members, the last last latest are:

  • Elizabeth Idu
  • Missy Doris
  • Mademoiselle Scholes
  • Jane Onyi
  • Queen bay

Una wellu wellu come * in mama peace voice
Please another standing ovation for them and pls clap ya hands please, #David can u please leave your laptop alone and concentrate?

#Sir Noble aw far your trekking to Togo , where you Don reach now? D lord is ur muscles.

Please for the new members be on your best behaviour cus we have got some  people here that would slap and spank ur bum bum, Bamidele and Co aka Ekun (lion).

Please no snatching of blog Boo oh, confirm first b4 crushing , girls ain’t smiling ooooo! *sharpening  cutlass faster.

We don reach the main menu now, na appetizer we bin dey chop.
These are the worst noise makers disturbing our peace:

TAKE IT OUTSIDE KOROBA, TAKE IT INSIDE BASKET * singing in olamide ”s voice

  • 1) Nwanze Martha and Mira Monroe aka our latest Drama Queens, gerigbo fight dey hungry dem badly, dey don scatter fellowship, use all our chairs, table, pots, even our dear egusi soup do weapons, dem for allow me chop dat smoked cat fish and pomo self, abegy oh! Pls carry it outside, e don do. : we need extra hand for this flogging, eerm eerm! * 1000 lashes of koboko and kpankere seasoned with salt and pepper with a dash of lime. 
  • 2) Lizzy Asanwa Atutupoyoyo and Rotten Tomatoes : una wan dey show urself oooo, advocate of lailans, una be my babes but continu! : 200 lashes of bulala seasoned wit pepper
  • 3) Uncle Babs: this Uncle wey u put for your name dey totori u well ooo, d rate u harassing people here, esp our orobo ladies *side eyes @ Bisi, just disturbing everybody: 300 lashes of bulala seasoned and dried with pepper and salt, extra 100 kpankere for yabbing oroboh babes, u don forget say classcaptain be oroboh!
  • 4) Christabel: oyingbo pepper * in uncle babs voice: dis girl can form, I just dey beef her, she no make noise ooo, but her shakara too much, abeg help me flog her 100 kpankere for her bare yansh! Shurrrrr! 
  • 5)Vels: since u win our recharge card u no gree us rest, u wan win anoda one abi? Take it jor, 50 kpankere for ya yansh, if I hear pim!
  • 6)SteffySoFynSoFly : dis one matter tire me ooo, person go just dey cause trouble any how, why u go come fellowship no wear pant? U wash yansh so? Come hang am for up again, meeeeehnnnn, ur case na special one, first go do frog jump, den later come collect 500 bullala with pepper untop dat yansh.
  • 7)Esther Ese and Ereti Garuba : dis people no need flogging abeg, I don call olopa for dem, na jail all d way, enjoy ur beans and garri for jail. wayo wayo people.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Ayzee and Shogbesan, wey our gala and ground nut, you tink I won’t talk abi. LLNP to u all.

For our desserts, Lastly lastly another and final standing ovation for our gorimapa ladies, dey gave up their hair for Laila’s blog, LOVE! pls a minute silence for their  hair, RIP hair.

  • Ella 
  • Kim
  • Okolo nne (send ya pics ooo! Aw borri?) 

It’s time to take a bow, you are free to add yours jare, make I go prepare for mango tree, I need to relax abeg. Johnny sugar oya jare let’s go and jolly jolly #any weapon fashioned against our mango tree would not prosper. *side eyes @ SV.

It’s me your one and only sexy orobo class captain, aka mother confessor, aka who English epp aka one man army aka iya olowo shibi aka aya johnny sugar, aka baddest event planner ever liveth aka latest Laila’s staff *tongue out
EA events and services, Kemi.

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