Was week one of the 2016 NFL season unkind to you?
Did your fantasy team make you the office laughingstock?
Did your real-life team leave you considering a last-minute bandwagon jump to another franchise?
Did watching your Super Bowl dreams disappear in a flurry of penalty flags and missed PATs leave you slurring and sputtering like Ben Affleck unleashing a drunken rant on Bill Simmons?
Well, fear not.
We’ve got the perfect way for you to vicariously vent your sports related frustrations.
Meet Meaalofa Te’o:
Sadly, Meaalofa is not related to San Diego Chargers linebacker and noted girlfriend inventor Manti Te’o.
He is, however, such a monster on the field that he’s managed the nigh-impossible feat of making Americans take an interest in rugby.
The following clip of young Meaalofa plowing through his competition has been making the rounds on social media this week.
Once you check it out, we think you’ll understand why:
We’re starting to think Marshawn Lynch retired from football because he heard about this kid and realized Te’o is the true master of going Beast Mode.
For obvious reasons, this clip is pretty amusing to just about everyone.
Sure, it may trigger panic attacks in the parents of the kids Te’o plows through like they’re wet paper bags, but for the rest of us it’s a must-watch (and re-watch) for a number of reasons.
For starters, no one got hurt, so it’s okay to chuckle at the sight of Te’o traversing the length of the field, seemingly only vaguely aware that there’s an opposing team trying to stop him.
On top of that, it’s a hilarious reminder of how lopsided kids’ sports often are.
There’s almost always that one kid who looks like he’s developing at like twice the rate of everyone else.
In the case of a kid like Meaalofa, nature is his performance-enhancing drug.
We’re sure Te’o has a bright future on the pitch in his native Australia.
But we’re kinda hoping an NFL scout gets to him.
Old school, Jerome Bettis-style bruisers are in short supply these days.