Never take a chance on a fart.
Note: Not all submissions are from Community users.
Nick Kroll‘s chocolate surprise:
“I was driving and the hairs on my arm started to rise. I was heavy breathing, because I'm about to have a butt baby, because I am crowning. I kept driving. You know how in New Orleans, right before the levees burst, they're like, 'What if we just let a little water out, to relieve the pressure?' I let a little water out of my levees, like a Hershey's kiss that's been sitting in the sun too long. I hovered over my steering wheel for leverage, and my body was like, 'NO, WE WANT IT ALL.' So I was sitting there, and I just filled my underwear with, like, a travel-size pillow worth of brisket. Then I waddled inside, took a shower, and had a four-hour shame nap.”
Submitted by karinadahl