By Juliet Ebirim
Falling in love with a physically challenged person isn’t something that people talk about often (if at all). People tend to place more emphasis on physical appearance than feelings, which ought to always follow in the pursuit of true happiness.
But feelings can also be fickle and fleeting and could be very tricky. Love isn’t just a euphoric, spontaneous feeling, it is an inner chemistry difficult to describe. Should physical disability be a barrier to true love? Following is what some Nigerian entertainment celebrities have to say on the matter.
I don’t believe in love – Baba De Baba, Comedian
I don’t really believe in love because love makes you go into a relationship without checking qualities. When the guy is faced with that reality called marriage, he will begin to see faults he never noticed while dating and the love will begin to dissipate. Physical disability can only be a barrier if you’re not educated or empowered. She must also have other qualities to cover up for her disabilities. You can’t be disabled and useless.
I see no barrier in it – Nev Harrison, Comedian/Ventriloquist
It shouldn’t be a barrier because at the end of the day, what keeps love alive is what’s on the inside of a person and not what’s on the outside. I haven’t tried such a relationship though, but judging from others, I see no barrier .
There’s this blind man I know who has one of the finest woman I have seen in recent times as a wife. Also there’s this crippled woman whose husband is one of the happiest man I have come across. However a lot of people do not feel comfortable about in here in Nigeria. They attach spirituality to everything and view it as getting themselves into spiritual warfare.
But personally, I see nothing wrong with it, because the divorces and separations I have seen in the last ten years are between two normal and complete people. Marrying a disabled person is not a decision people make when they set out to look for love. But if I’m in search of love and I find love there, then so be it.
For me, it depends — Ene Ochu, Actress/Model
It depends. I would love a physically disabled person who loved me extraordinarily before he became disabled. Although it’s going to take serious thought and consideration loving a disabled person that you didn’t know or haven’t dated before. The truth is, these people are also humans and deserve to be loved. There must be a high level of love that I must get from him to hold me down. Disabled people deserve love.
We need more than just love to stay in a relationship – Yvonne Enakena, Actress
No, it shouldn’t if it’s ‘true’ love. But then you need more than just love to stay in a relationship… Love is just a fraction of it. Another thing is that most disabilities are hereditary, you have to think about your children, the emotional stress on both you and your child. You have to be sure you can cope, ask yourself the right and sincere questions and you’re convinced and certain, you can go ahead. But sometimes it’s good to apply wisdom in all we do.
You love a person’s soul, not their appearance — Shirley Igwe, Actress/Model
Physical disability shouldn’t be a barrier. You fall in love with the soul of a person not their physical appearance. Even though physical abilities play a big role but if you’re deeply in love with someone’s soul – poor English, height, physical challenge, financial status and the rest do not matter.
No man is created to be alone – Blessing Patrick, Actress
No physical disability should be a barrier to true love, because a disabled person is alive. Once a person has life, there is hope. Anything can happen as long as they both love each other. Besides, one man’s meat is another man’s poison. We’ve had stories and we’ve seen so many physically challenged people who found love.
No wonder God created Eve from Adam when he was asleep and when he woke up, he recognised Eve and said “This is the bone of my bone”.
Therefore a disabled person also has the bone of his bones, as it is written, no man is created to be alone. A physically disabled person is exempted from finding true love. Would I love a disabled person? I’m in line with God’s original purpose for me, if it’s his will for me.